Pencilling in a sad day

Yesterday I had a bad day. I woke up feeling alright but as I went to work I soon discovered that I was quick to anger. I sent a text to my wife telling her that “I’ve not been this angry in ages.”

I had visions of me throwing a milk jug at somebody or just chucking the tray I was carrying to the floor and storming off. It wasn’t because anybody was specifically annoying me or anything like that, it was just the mood I was in.

I am under a bit of stress at the moment. The passing of my grandmother has had a weird effect on me. I struggle to show my emotions at the best of times and knowing that I’ve got to let it out to feel better has been difficult because of time constraints. Stupid isn’t it? Let me explain…

I’ve worked the closes at work all week, it means I can start late but it means I don’t get home until 7.30pm. Can I have a proper “sad session” before work? Not really. When I get like that, it takes time for me to pull myself out of it. What about when I get home? I want to eat dinner, watch a bit of TV before going to bed.

Can you believe I’ve had to put up with how I’m feeling and pencil in Sunday as a “sad day”. Madness isn’t it? I hope that I’ll feel better for it. I’ll be eating chocolate watching “Man on the Moon”, maybe listen to some Radiohead…

5th March 2015

9:58AM: I’m about to go have breakfast and then I need to shower. I also need to brush my teeth.

10:01AM: I need to have a shower. I love having a shower. It’s a basic pleasure that is very underrated.

10:28AM: Just finished my shower. Every other day I exfoliate my face. It’s why I look 29.

10:47AM: Had a cup of tea

11:01AM: I’ve got Duckula stuck in my head.

11:20AM: I just remembered that I had a news years resolution to drink more water. Forgot all about that!

11:51AM: Leaving for work later than I normally would

12:30PM: There’s a lady who comes in who reads the Daily Mail. I hate her.

1:47PM: Keep me away from the sharp knives, I’m likely to stab someone.

2:08PM: First hot cross bun of the year

2:15PM: I woke up fine. I thought I was in a good mood. It’s not until I have to deal with people the I realise I’m in a foul mood. Roll on home time!

2:15PM: Had a cup of tea

2:21PM: Do you know what isn’t helping my mood? Predictive text being a dick.

2:24PM: It’s also not helping that I can’t escape screaming children.

7:37PM: Eating Pizza Hut

The liberation of not being social

Thanks to my buddy Leon for being arsed to take this picture for me.

Thanks to my buddy Leon for being arsed to take this picture for me.

It’s been about 24 hours since I decided that I was going to take a break from social networks and I’ve found it liberating. That nagging thought of “oh I better post something soon or people will lose interest” are gone and it feels good.

There is another side to this that I’ve just realised. Fewer people will read my blog so in turn I won’t feel as inhibited. Me writing this blog has never been about people reading it, it’s not about making money. Those things would be welcomed but it’s not my main motive why I do this. I do this for the love of doing it.

I have also become very sensitive to just how much of a hold Facebook and Twitter has over the internet. Wherever I go I see badges and links to like and follow. I’ve decided to remove my links for the time being as there wouldn’t be much point people liking and following me.

I’ve also realised that my blog will have to serve as a one stop shop for all the content that I want to share be it photos or videos or news articles. I genuinely can’t wait.