I don’t want to start a rant about how we have to watch what we say or go on about how political correctness has “gone mad” but I suppose we are in an age where we have to be careful what we say and do.
It’s a horrible feeling when you find out that you’ve inadvertently offended somebody in some way. It could be something you’ve said or something that you’ve done which you didn’t even think about. Even though you may not have intended for somebody to take something you’ve done in a way you didn’t want them to, they might have. It’s easy to get annoyed about it and maybe even angry at that person for “being too sensitive” but it doesn’t detract away from the fact that you should be more mindful about whatever situations you may find yourself in or the people around you.
(Having now written this blog, it seems like a familiar topic. I’m not sure if I’ve ever written about this before and although I could find out with a quick search, I’ve decided to publish anyway.)
This week I have felt philosophical about life. I am still reading “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” and it’s really fascinating. Death is one of those subjects that people don’t want to talk about. It’s morbid and can make people sad. It’s a definitive end to our existence and after that, we’ll be unable to change what we’ve done in our lives.
When we die, we’ll leave behind us all kinds of memories and trinkets for people. There’ll be little clues to the kind of person we were. We’ll be unable to explain things nor will we be able to make excuses to the bad things we may have done.
The only thing that bothers me about my death is that I’m scared that there will be no evidence of me ever existing. I write journals and this blog obviously but it’s a horrible thought that when the time comes, I’ll just be a name on a stone. There was an event in my life that triggered this fear. It was my 29th birthday when I went for a walk with my wife and parents. We ended up at a graveyard and there was a headstone that was hidden beneath an overgrown bush. I read the headstone and the person had perhaps been dead a year. Their grave already forgotten about. It hit me hard.
I guess what my point is, we need to strive to be the best person we can be. We need to leave some sort of legacy behind us or we’ll be forever lost to history. Just a name on a census for future generations to stumble upon.
I enjoy writing my blog. I enjoy thinking of things to write about and things that I’d like to share with the internet but when will I finish? Will there be some point when I decide “Do you know what? I have finished this project.”?
I probably won’t come to a natural end with this project, instead I’ll just lose interest and forget all about it but let’s say I didn’t. How would I know that I had nothing else to say?
This may sound daft but I often think about people who say that they want to succeed at what they do yet they do not have any clearly defined parameters for what they consider to be successful. Everybody wants to be happy and financially stable but at which point do they think “I have achieved that”.
Honestly, I don’t know if I’m making any sense here but it’s worth thinking about.
If you have any life goals, are they achievable and if they are, how will you know you’ve achieved them?
As far as writing this blog, I will stop writing it when I have nothing to say and people stop reading it. I think that’s a pretty good goal.
I feel really good about the podcast I posted yesterday. It was a meandering mess of thoughts but one thing that I have continued thinking about is the idea that all a human needs to survive is enough food to eat and a place to sleep, other than that, it’s all extra.
When I think about that it makes me feel very lucky. I have those things as well as a bunch of other extra things. Humans are programmed to lust and want more. We always compare ourselves to others and it isn’t healthy. The grass is always greener on the other side and we feel compelled to do our best to be doing better than other people.
At the moment I am going through a transitional period in my life. I have managed to bag myself a better job which means that I am going to have a better income for my wife and I. The past few years my wife has worked hard to pay the majority of our monthly bills. I have always felt guilty about it, even though my wife insists that she doesn’t mind. My main motivation to earn more money is so that I can pay my way and that money won’t be a worry each month.
I am a little concerned that the extra income that I’ll have might warp my perception and I’ll forget that all a human needs to survive is enough food to eat and a place to sleep. I am going to get a few things here and there but other than that, I don’t know what else it is that I’ll do with my income. I’ll probably just end up saving it all.
I wanted to record a proper episode of my podcast so I decided to do it the way I used to, doing the washing up. It’s a meandering ramble about essentially nothing. It’s about (and not limited to): evolution, possessions and McDonalds.