I feel happy and optimistic at the moment. It’s unusual since I put it down to that weird moment of realisation that I recently had. What I would normally consider a negative thing to happen was actually positive. It’s like a new perspective.
Imagine seeing something that annoys you and you cannot work out why it is. Then suddenly, you work it out. You dissect it down to it’s basic components and it looses all power that it had over you. Kind of like when you’re a kid in bed in the dark and all the shadows and noises plays tricks with you, scaring you until you flick the light on and see that it’s a dressing gown on the back of the door and it’s just the neighbours TV you can quietly hear.
I live in Norfolk, England. It has a reputation for being behind the times and not up-to-date with modern culture and it’s true. Since I feel disconnected and not part of modern culture either, it fits that I live here.
The funniest thing is when I read about people winding themselves up about things and then I sit and puzzle what the fuss is about. I don’t want to go into specifics here as to upset people but my wife recently read to me an article (probably from the Daily Fail) about “Group A” getting upset with “Group B” wearing something that “Group A” started to wear first and argues that it’s part of the “Group A” identity and now “Group B” can’t wear them at a certain school. OK, I’m being a bit vague, the item that “Group B” is banned from wearing is hooped earrings.
Before I go any further, anyone reading this needs to know that I do not see how hooped earrings can cause offense (a caveat; if “Group B” are doing it specifically to piss off “Group A” then it is clearly an issue). I also want to add that this is a piece of news on a news outlet who, let’s be clear here, are known to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
I am a liberal lefty and proud of it. However really don’t get this. I’m not going to deny that it’s probably because this kind of thing doesn’t go on around here and even if it does, I’m nothing to do with it.
I see myself as a human. I see everybody else as a human. I don’t have any preconceived notions about other humans.
Living in a backwater hides me from confusing things.
I’m listening to a lot of Yoko Ono at the current stage in my life. I find it frustrating that people are quick to jump on her because she’s not mainstream or that they think she’s weird. The thing I enjoy about her the most is her inhibition. She really goes for it. If it’s an act, she’s kept it up for nearly 50 years. I find her quite inspiring. I’ve always said to create for yourself and she does just that.
I visited my local post office earlier and I admit that I did speed up my walking pace to overtake an old lady so I wasn’t behind her in the queue. It’s only one person but it still means waiting longer.
When I go to the Post Office I always think that it’s not a place to go if you’re in a rush. It’s really not a place you can “pop into”.
Anyway, I overtook an old lady and she started to wait behind me. There was a slight gap in the queue and she loudly complained that people should move up. She was on her own so I’m assuming she was talking to me. People moved up and then she saw that only two people were serving was a testament to my recent feelings. She loudly said “I can’t believe only two people are on”. She then proceeded to continually tut and sigh. She was working herself up into a right state, over essentially not much at all. (I’m assuming the reason there are two people behind the counter serving is to save labour costs as they can’t afford to have another person in to serve this old lady.)
I find other people so perplexing. I admit that I did speed up to overtake this lady and to not be such a hypocrite I could have let her in front of me to appease her but I was running an errand for work and didn’t have the time to wait around too long. Beside, it was interesting to see this lady’s reaction.
Last week I had a moment of realisation and since that day I have looked at things in a new way. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing but I feel more positive and optimistic. I feel as though things in life are pretty silly and they should be treated that way. We all get carried away with things and if you take yourself out of that situation for long enough we can see we’re acting like fools.
That may sound like I’m being mean or dissmisive about the way people are and I guess I am. I see people acting in a way that they’re used to, thinking in a way that they’ve been conditioned and it’s weird. I have always found it hard to understand people but now I feel like another species. It’s so hard to explain. I see people walking around, looking at all the shiny things, giving people looks, acting selfishly and it’s amusing. At times I can’t help but actually laugh out loud.
I feel as though I want to give daily blogging a go again.