My life has gone through lots of flux. In fact, the most flux it’s ever gone through. My life is completely different to how it was at the beginning of the year and it’s unsettling. I could run and hide from that fact but I’m doing my best to take it on. It’s not been easy at times. Hell, it’s been downright difficult but it’s all temporary. I’ve dealt with this flux, I’ll deal with more of it too.
What is helping me is the stripping back of things and lowering distraction as best as I can. That is difficult but it’s paying off. For me personally, I think that minimizing distraction is making it easier to deal directly with the changes that my life has gone through. I will be a stronger person, I know I will be.
When we don’t know the full story or we don’t understand something, we put a back story to it. We fill in the blanks. We all do it. It’s quicker than waiting for the gaps in our knowledge to be filled.
Depending on our moods, we could even take a dark turn. If things aren’t going the way we were hoping for, we might even start to think that thinks are conspiring against us and life isn’t fair. The same can be said if things are going right for us, there must be a higher being looking out for us.
Although it’s not an easy task, we need to treat what’s going on around us as simply that. It’s going on around us and we don’t always have control over it. Rather than jump to any conclusion we should seek out the truth about what is going on.
Today is a day that is the opposite of productive. I don’t want say unproductive, I want to say lazy.
I’ve got all the stuff done that I was supposed to, it just took me absolutely forever which is because I started watching TV. As a rule, I don’t watch TV regularly but when I do, I really go for it. I’m someone who when they do something, I’ll go for it to the Nth degree. I woke up, had breakfast and started looking into various jobs. I then put on some YouTube. Then more YouTube. Then Some Netflix. Keep going up until a little while ago.
I cooked dinner earlier but I didn’t get around to washing up. In fact, I was midway through binging a new TV show when I went to the kitchen and saw that there was stuff that needed to be put away and washed up. I was strict with myself. I went back to the living room and turned the TV off, threw my rubber gloves on and off I went.
It didn’t even take that long. I would have been almighty pissed off tomorrow morning had I had to get up to that. I’m glad I sorted it out.
It’s important to remember that every human and animal on this planet has one thing in common, that is the need to feel happy. We all want to be happy. Nobody or no creature wants to be unhappy. It’s what connects us across the board. We want to stop suffering and be happy.
When you think about this notion, it helps us see other people and living creatures in another light.
I’ve had time to reevaluate my life. I don’t think it’s possible to ever stop but I’ve had a significant chunk of time to take stock and work out what the Hell is going on. I’ve been able to reconnect with a certain part of my life that I haven’t been able to connect with for a while. It’s my “spiritual side”.
I class myself as a Buddhist because it’s the only belief system that I agree with. I’ve practiced varying degrees of Buddhism for a number of years but I have wandered too far from the path over the last year. I feel that it’ time for me to reconnect. It’s helped me before, hopefully it’ll help me again.
I felt like I used to understand so much more than I used to. I used to consider myself happy. Times changed and I’ve had to go through probably the worst period of my life and it’s only now getting back on track… Kinda…
I need to go back in time and talk to the wise version of myself from a few years ago. He had a better insight. How did I lose it?
When surrounded by beautiful scenery and gorgeous weather it is a crime to not go outside and enjoy it. It sounds odd but this last week, I have gone on the same walk three times and have done the same thing each time. I have tried to find some new detail or nuance of the place I’m visiting. I’m 35 years old and I have visited this spot it must be a hundred times yet I am still able to find wonder and beauty in it and I think that it’s true with most cases if we give ourselves the time to do it.
I keep banging on about stopping and smelling the flowers but we often don’t do that. We just walk past familiar places and take it as read that we’ve been there, done that.
Today whilst I was visiting this place I witnessed someone’s first ever visit and the wide-eyed expression of wonderment filled me with actual joy that I had to speak to them.
“Do you know the legend of this tree?” I asked them. “No.” they replied with intrigue. “The legend goes that a witch with a wooden leg was buried here in the middle of this church and her wooden leg sprouted it” I said. The look on his face was amazing. “It’s been here some time,” he observed “It’s an oak tree!” “I know right! This church is actually mentioned in the Domesday book so God knows how long this tree has been here!”
I love telling people that story. It’s so far out of left field that nobody can believe it. I mean, clearly it’s not true but still. We all too often forget about how amazing our surroundings are.
This morning I started work on a piece of freelance writing for a client. I had every intention of finishing it this evening. This evening as I turned my laptop on I am informed that my laptop needs to do updates. That was two hours ago and it’s only now hit 25%.
A friend of mine said that I have problems with my laptop doing updates because I don’t use it enough. I concede that it’s been a Hell of a lot better since I started using it daily but today is taking the piss.
As a rule I work in the cloud. Ironically, the piece I started earlier is saved on my desktop I’m a Word document. What was I thinking? Looks like I’ve learnt from that little mistake. It’s all about the cloud.