This is one of those posts where I don’t know how to really start or what it is what I want to write about.

I’ve had a weird couple of days and it’s confusing the crap out of me. I usually have certain things that I do on certain days but that’s not the way things have gone. I do my best to not be a creature of habit but it transpires that I’m someone who actually likes structure. One of my favourite quotes about this is by Oscar Wilde:

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

I’m cooking my dinner at the moment. It’s a chicken pie with mashed potatoes. My wife is at work so I have to fend for myself. Ahe doesn’t like pies or mashed potatoes so I have a little treat when she works late. I don’t like it when she works late.

It’s weird but I miss her when she’s not around. I saw her a matter of hours ago but I miss her on a daily basis. She holds my world together. She’s part of who I am. We’re like a set.

Got a bit mushy at the end.

This post represents my current mental state. All over the place.

Negative perception of things

I often say that our experiences in life is down to our perceptions of what is going on around us. I believe that. I think that most of the problems we have in life is down to us perceiving things in a negative way.

If we look at things and not judge them in of themselves and just treat it as something that’s happening we’d be a lot happier.

I’m not being nihilistic here. At least I hope not.

I do lots of thinking. Sometimes I have to get those thoughts out.

I’m reading another book by the Dalai Lama at the minute. He’s got an amazing brain.

Caving into brain impulses

As I sit here I am feeling pretty good. I’ve had a bit of a mentally rough week. I think it’s because of how tired I am and because the days are getting darker which effects me.

I’ve had an alright day so far today though. I’ve been listening to music, thinking about stuff and playing Minecraft. All the stuff that adults need to do to unwind.

I’ve found myself overwhelmed by social networks again. I go through these phases. I become addicted to them and then I find that the connection is too much for me to deal with. Feeling out of control of my own behavior because of a stupid addiction to notifications isn’t a great feeling. It doesn’t make sense does it? We let brain impulses decide what we do, even if deep down we don’t want to do it.

It’s why I practice mindfulness because it helps train the mind to not give into to those impulses so much and if anything, put them into perspective.

Someone in France hacked my Netflix account

Yesterday I received an email to say that my Netflix email account had been changed. I didn’t change my email account. Turns out, someone was able to hack into my Netflix.

By Taro the Shiba Inu [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
I’ve no idea how it happened but through some investigation I found that the person was watching Rick and Morty and were French and were watching in France with an iPhone 6s. I tried contacting the customer service through Twitter, through their live chat but nothing. No response. I changed my email address, password and then chose the “Log out of all devices”. I then found that the person was still watching my Netflix account. I rang their helpline. Were they helpful? Well I guess in a sense since I did all the steps they would have recommended.

I woke up this morning and found that the person still had access to my account as they started to watch “Trollhunter”. What the Heck?!

The person hasn’t watched anything since this morning but I’m shocked at how much Netflix doesn’t care about their security. Am I alone in this?

Weirdos in a fantastic way

I used to blog everyday but I gave it up when I lost interest. I have already done a post today however I want to do another because I’m in that kind of mood.

I’ve had a fun day. This morning I listened to music, did some reading, meditated and watched old episodes of Red Dwarf.

This afternoon I visited my parents, my sister, my niece and my nephew. It was fun hanging out with them. My nephew is six years old and my niece is four years old. They’re a couple of weirdos. Weirdos in a fantastic way.  It’s fun playing with them as they still find the words poo, fart and bum funny.

My Dad made some pumpkin soup. It was his first attempt and it was really tasty. We also had a bunch of other food, burgers, sausages and stuff before we had a mini firework display.


It was great to see the kids faces as the fireworks popped and fizzed. They also loved their sparklers as they both tried writing their names in midair with them.

All in all, a great day.

My brain feels spacious, not closed in

I am fascinated by the human mind. It’s capable of so much and we just take it for granted.

People who know me well know that I have practiced meditation for years and I still find that it’s teaching and showing me new things. I know that it’s going to be hard for me to explain the feelings and thoughts I get when I meditate but I would like to give it a go.

This week I have experienced something I would describe as having the boundaries of my brain removed. It sounds silly I know. It feels as though I’ve had a moment of realization. Our mind’s boundaries only exist because we impose them.

That sounds so convoluted but it’s true. It’s all fine for me to think, experience and tell people about this stuff but understanding it fully is another thing.

I can say “All life’s problems are down to our perception of what’s going on around us” and it makes sense but to understand it is another thing.

Jeez. I dunno. It’s difficult.

When I say “the boundaries of my brain removed” what I mean is my brain feels spacious, not closed in. Like an open field, the sky, the ocean, infinite (just don’t tell the wife).


My own digital time and space

I have had a day to detox from people. I’m someone who craves their own company. I often find myself “peopled out”. I work long hours with the public and I need time to just not be around anyone (my wife is excluded from that, being with her counts as me being alone).

Today has been a day of solitude.

I’ve spent the day watching TV, listening to music and doing odd chores around the house. It’s been a welcome break.

I’ve also been setting up my new laptop. I got a new laptop because I wanted one. My wife and I usually share one but we’ve found recently that one laptop isn’t enough between the two of us. There have been multiple times during the last few months when we’ve both wanted to use it and we’ve either had to wait for the other person to finish.

Just like I need my own space and time to myself, I also need my own digital time and space.