I’ll be honest, this post is one of those posts that I just want to write.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I use the internet and I’ve been re-evaluating it. I go through phases where I embrace the internet and every opportunity to share what I want on it. I then become overwhelmed by it. As humans we are complex and no matter how much we claim that we don’t care what people think about us, we do care. I don’t think about it much but there are times when I become aware of the fact that I’m trying to project a version of me to the world that doesn’t exist.
In simplistic terms I’m someone who likes my own company. My idea of happiness is being left alone. Modern culture confuses and annoys me yet I’m out there trying to pretend and care about what’s going on but that really isn’t the case.
I just wanted to get that off my chest.
I’ve had a weird 2018 so far. I’ve probably been the most ill I’ve been in ages and it’s given me the time to re-evaluate what is going on in my life. I’ve come to terms with the idea that I don’t have to do things. I’m a creative person and I feel urges to create stuff when I can but I’ve learned that it’s ok to not. There is a creation in non-creation. It’s fine to not do anything.
My cycle with the social networks have come to the point where I want to avoid them when I can. I’ve been using my mobile phone more than I’m happy with. I blame the likes of apps like Reddit, Facebook and Twitter. I embrace them then become overwhelmed by them. It’s a known cycle that I go through. It is what it is.
One of my new years resolutions was to write more. I have in my journal but not my blog. I’m a dope.
I haven’t been well again recently. I don’t know what it is but one of the side effects has been me having a very sore throat and losing my voice.
As far as I can remember I have never lost my voice before. I’ve never experienced it being painful to talk. So how can I feel better? By not talking.
I spent an entire day not talking and it was amazing. It’s strange how many times I nearly spoke but stopped myself. How often do we just chatter to ourselves? It’s crazy.
I have a new appreciation for silence. I always wanted to know if I could go long periods without speaking and I think that this might officially be the longest time I’ve gone without speaking. It’s been lovely. Idle chatter has not been with me all day. Only internally.