We’re all on a journey that will ultimately come to an end. We get distracted by the things around us and before we know it, we’re dead. I have found myself going through the motions a lot as of late and it’s not good for me at all. I have been doing what I can to embrace elements of my character as well as embark on things that are out of my comfort zone.
It’s hard finding yourself on your own in life after a decade of being with someone. There are memories that you have of places that are so ingrained in your psyche that you cannot help but feel sad that you no longer have someone to share those memories. I’m embracing the idea of being on my own. I have no problem eating on my own in a restaurant, the same goes for the cinema. I used to freak out at the idea of doing stuff like ordering food and talking to people in shops but having embraced it, it’s more natural and it’s nice being able to be more chatty with people.
I have been finding myself. What it’s like to be a single man about town, exploring all on my own. It’s liberating and I am enjoying it. There is a train of thought that people go on holiday to escape their problems but what they don’t realize is that their problems are based on themselves. No matter where you go, unless you are content with yourself, going on holiday with yourself tagging along is no fun.
I take a sip of tea and notice that there’s no sugar. Picking up the sugar, I become aware of someone watching me from another table. I have a little party trick of being able to rip many of sachets of sugar open all at once. I want to impress. I grab all the sugars I picked up ready to show off. Just as I finish I realise I don’t know how many sachets I need and also realise that the drink I have is much smaller than I usually get. I gently stir to not agitate the sludge at the bottom of my cup. The person is still watching. I act all cool taking a sip of the sweetest tea I’ve ever had. I play it of with a nod of “you knows it”.
I’m having breakfast and in people watching mode. It’s fun to watch how people react when they are shovelled into a room and have to know what they’re doing or they may look foolish in front of the others.
The repetition of the server saying “thank you” has turned into a noise empty of any feeling it used to have. Like a hinge every time you open that cupboard to get the teabags.
This place is a factory to turn hungry people into full people.
Yet again I’ve given up social networks. I am bored of them. In the past few weeks they’ve been more trouble then they’re worth. I’ve been added by three fake Facebook accounts and I know it’s the same person doing it. I can’t be bothered with it.
I would rather focus on what’s going on in real life instead of what is being projected by people.
See you in real life x