Last night I fell asleep watching TV. I woke up at 6am very confused and I went to bed shortly after that. It means that my streak of writing everyday has been ruined. So I’ve decided that it doesn’t matter about doing stuff daily. I am someone who likes to put rules and goals on things. Deadlines are something I like but I think that they can work or not. The pressure to get something done can create a whole manner of things, good but usually bad.
I want to write about my life and sometimes it’s not interesting. Yesterday specifically I just was tired and slept a Hell of a lot as I watched a Netflix series. I’m watching “The Staircase” and I don’t know what to think about it. I mean, I think he maybe innocent but he and his legal team are so unlikable. I watched “Making A Murderer” and I think he’s innocent or the case against him is so flimsy.
When I set out to start blogging daily again I imposed the arbitrary 24 hour period that we class as a day. I don’t subscribe to that notion anymore. My day starts when I wake up and finishes when I go to sleep. I woke up at 5.45am and I’ll be going to sleep at 2am. That is my day today.
My day hasn’t been eventful, just nice and relaxed. I hung out with one of my buddies, just shooting the shit with an occasional philosophical bent. I want to start a podcast soon and I hope that they will be a guest on it.
I feel that my mind is opening wider by the day. I am seeing things differently and I am interested in the path that I am taking. It’s hard to explain what it feels like when I am in a philosophical mood. I feel alive and that by thought alone, I can probably make myself feel happier. There were times yesterday where I was what I called “blissed out”. I felt happy and content and couldn’t imagine feeling bad ever again. I am surrounded by positive people. The year I’m having I think I deserve it
This year has seen a lot of change for me. A mixture of both good and bad. The best thing that has happened to me is that I have made a lot of friends. I do things and go to places I would never would have. Last night for example, I went on a night out that started as a drink down a pub to getting back from a gay club which’s interior is based on the interior of a plane to fool your friends that you’re actually on a plane at 4am.
I think I understand what the weekend is supposed to be.
Today is one of those days that I need to get up freakishly early to go to work. I don’t know why but I decided that I would sacrifice fifteen minutes of my sleep to get up early to write this before I go to work.
I don’t like getting up early. I’m not a person who can physically cope well with getting up early. My body goes on strike and I start to feel nauseated. I know it passes but feeling like I’m going to be sick.
Do I regret my decision to get up a little earlier so I can write this? Maybe a very small amount but I wanted to get this part of my brain up and running very early on in the day in the hope that the creative juices that are flowing will flow throughout the day.
I have had an eventful day. All of which is work related and I’ll be damned if I write about the mundane daily occurrences of my job. You don’t come here to hear about about the goings-on of a coffee shop. I’ll talk about coffee at some point I’m sure.
What I’ve always struggled to do is differentiate my work life and my home life. I used to think of my job when I was at home. I would spend ten hours a day thinking about my job then I’d go home to think about it some more. It’s been hard but I’ve embraced my home life more so. In fact, I now have a fantastic mix of spending time with friends and having some alone time for me to recharge my batteries.
There’s a lot to be said for a bit of “me time”. As a single person, it can be daunting cutting yourself off from people one evening once a week but by gosh, it helps me no end.
I’ve had a really good day. I have recently been struggling with my mood because of the time of year but I think that it’s a case of not letting it bother me too much. I have found it’s better to go into a day with the right frame of mind. I know it’s a bullshit but the “faking it to you make it” is working for me.
I have a guest at my house. It’s a caterpillar from my Dad’s allotment that stowed away on a cauliflower. I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t want to hurt or inadvertently kill it. It is an “it” because I don’t know how to confidently how to sex a caterpillar nor is it my place to enforce gender-roles on a bug. I’ll keep you posted about it.
There are times that I’m reminded at just how far we have come as a society when it comes to the acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community. I know we’ve got a long way to go still but it warms the cockles of the heart when you see a young gay man expressing himself through having a fierce and fabulous manicure. I couldn’t help but comment on his nails. They were long, probably fake and red. Honestly, it made me so happy, considering that I live in the backwaters of Norfolk. He was more than happy to talk to me about it too.
It’s easy to know when your absence hasn’t been noticed. But there comes a time when you know that you should come out of your semi-retirement because deep down you miss doing what you were doing. You want to try recapture what it was that you used to do and what it is you might be able to do. This is where I am right now. I miss writing like you wouldn’t believe.
If anything, this is the time in my life when I should be making more of an effort with writing because my life is so vastly different that it’s almost unrecognisable. Hell, I’m not recognisable. I feel like a completely different person from the person I was at the start of the year.
I guess this is me welcoming myself back.
I am taking a long-overdue sabbatical from my online life. I’m minimizing my usage of certain tasks and maximising doing the things that I enjoy.
I go on more adventures now and I want to share them with you.