Two sides of the coin

Yesterday and today I have been trying to get to the root of the way I act. Why do I feel the need to make jokes to entertain people but then feel overwhelmed and need to be away from human contact? I think I’ve made some way in the thinking but I don’t think I’ll ever get to the bottom of it.

I’ve think I’ve cracked why I have an urge to share my thoughts online through this blog and social media.

It’s both the same thing. Two sides of a coin.

I want to make people laugh and smile by being goofy but then I also want people to see I have a serious side.

I dunno. It makes sense. I’ll write more when I’m not on my phone.

Sharing and not caring

I have been actively shunning social networks for a couple of weeks and I am feeling the pull to them getting weaker every day. However I have a suspicion that although I’m not posting to social networks in any capacity, that urge is being fulfilled with posting on my blog. It’s interesting.

I do not recognise in myself a need to share what I do. I blog because I enjoy the process of writing. I write in my personal journal but that’s not enough apparently. I don’t write online in a blog to get people to read it on a regular basis or to comment, like or share. I prefer the idea of having people randomly come across what I do, like a chance encounter. I enjoy chance encounters. I write about a selection of things and maybe someday someone will search for something and find something I’ve written.

I remember the confusion I had from people I know what I publicly shared some side effects of the anti-depressant Citalopram.

I dunno.

I’m tired and want to write

Save The Future

I got new shoes a couple of days ago. They hurt my feet but I know over time the shoes will soften up or my feet will harden. Whichever way things go, I’ll be happy.

I was speaking to a friend today about expectations that make us unhappy. If we expect the moon on a stick and we don’t get it, of course it’s going to bother us. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t get our hopes up or look forward to things. We need make sure that we realistically look at things.

Just a thought.

I met a woman today who had a really good t-shirt. It read “Save The Future”. I liked it because it’s a blanket statement that is accurate. No one can really disagree with it.