This year has seen a lot of change for me. A mixture of both good and bad. The best thing that has happened to me is that I have made a lot of friends. I do things and go to places I would never would have. Last night for example, I went on a night out that started as a drink down a pub to getting back from a gay club which’s interior is based on the interior of a plane to fool your friends that you’re actually on a plane at 4am.
I think I understand what the weekend is supposed to be.
Today is one of those days that I need to get up freakishly early to go to work. I don’t know why but I decided that I would sacrifice fifteen minutes of my sleep to get up early to write this before I go to work.
I don’t like getting up early. I’m not a person who can physically cope well with getting up early. My body goes on strike and I start to feel nauseated. I know it passes but feeling like I’m going to be sick.
Do I regret my decision to get up a little earlier so I can write this? Maybe a very small amount but I wanted to get this part of my brain up and running very early on in the day in the hope that the creative juices that are flowing will flow throughout the day.
I have had an eventful day. All of which is work related and I’ll be damned if I write about the mundane daily occurrences of my job. You don’t come here to hear about about the goings-on of a coffee shop. I’ll talk about coffee at some point I’m sure.
What I’ve always struggled to do is differentiate my work life and my home life. I used to think of my job when I was at home. I would spend ten hours a day thinking about my job then I’d go home to think about it some more. It’s been hard but I’ve embraced my home life more so. In fact, I now have a fantastic mix of spending time with friends and having some alone time for me to recharge my batteries.
There’s a lot to be said for a bit of “me time”. As a single person, it can be daunting cutting yourself off from people one evening once a week but by gosh, it helps me no end.
I’ve had a really good day. I have recently been struggling with my mood because of the time of year but I think that it’s a case of not letting it bother me too much. I have found it’s better to go into a day with the right frame of mind. I know it’s a bullshit but the “faking it to you make it” is working for me.
I have a guest at my house. It’s a caterpillar from my Dad’s allotment that stowed away on a cauliflower. I don’t know what to do about it because I don’t want to hurt or inadvertently kill it. It is an “it” because I don’t know how to confidently how to sex a caterpillar nor is it my place to enforce gender-roles on a bug. I’ll keep you posted about it.
There are times that I’m reminded at just how far we have come as a society when it comes to the acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community. I know we’ve got a long way to go still but it warms the cockles of the heart when you see a young gay man expressing himself through having a fierce and fabulous manicure. I couldn’t help but comment on his nails. They were long, probably fake and red. Honestly, it made me so happy, considering that I live in the backwaters of Norfolk. He was more than happy to talk to me about it too.
It’s easy to know when your absence hasn’t been noticed. But there comes a time when you know that you should come out of your semi-retirement because deep down you miss doing what you were doing. You want to try recapture what it was that you used to do and what it is you might be able to do. This is where I am right now. I miss writing like you wouldn’t believe.
If anything, this is the time in my life when I should be making more of an effort with writing because my life is so vastly different that it’s almost unrecognisable. Hell, I’m not recognisable. I feel like a completely different person from the person I was at the start of the year.
I guess this is me welcoming myself back.
I am taking a long-overdue sabbatical from my online life. I’m minimizing my usage of certain tasks and maximising doing the things that I enjoy.
I go on more adventures now and I want to share them with you.
Woke. The smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen through the flat is enough to wake anyone. Whoever invented coffee pots that can be set to go off at a certain time needs to be made into a Saint (their achievement being better than something to be made into a Sir) It’s possible that the smell of coffee is the vegetarian equivalent of bacon being cooked. That is of course only if said vegetarian likes the smell of coffee.
Today is the first day of Café Boke. It will be beautiful.
We’re all on a journey that will ultimately come to an end. We get distracted by the things around us and before we know it, we’re dead. I have found myself going through the motions a lot as of late and it’s not good for me at all. I have been doing what I can to embrace elements of my character as well as embark on things that are out of my comfort zone.
It’s hard finding yourself on your own in life after a decade of being with someone. There are memories that you have of places that are so ingrained in your psyche that you cannot help but feel sad that you no longer have someone to share those memories. I’m embracing the idea of being on my own. I have no problem eating on my own in a restaurant, the same goes for the cinema. I used to freak out at the idea of doing stuff like ordering food and talking to people in shops but having embraced it, it’s more natural and it’s nice being able to be more chatty with people.
I have been finding myself. What it’s like to be a single man about town, exploring all on my own. It’s liberating and I am enjoying it. There is a train of thought that people go on holiday to escape their problems but what they don’t realize is that their problems are based on themselves. No matter where you go, unless you are content with yourself, going on holiday with yourself tagging along is no fun.